Before we start let’s give a shout out to all Mamas out there...work at home moms, stay at home moms, work away from home moms, part-time working moms... all the moms all the time!! Y’all are seriously killin’ it and although it is not always easy we recognize you and we see you out there doing your best! As a couple of stay at home working mama’s we wanted to discuss our own personal journey and some of the things we have learned along the way.
Balance is FREAKING HARD. Trying to balance our business, our family, our friendships and our home ( oh and wine, don’t forget about the wine) can get a little messy (especially after too much wine, am I right?). I don’t think we have exactly mastered this aspect and will be work in progress as things change. If we are being honest, sometimes that means our houses don’t always get cleaned (as in, more often than we would like to admit) because we have deadlines to meet and little ankle biters to entertain. You know those days, when the door bell rings and you quietly step to the peep hole to see who it is because your house is in bad shape. There are select few people who are allowed in the house when it is in that state... you know your mom, or the friends who don’t care about the mess (bless their hearts). Some days this means that the kids have torn out every item out of every cupboard in the kitchen (contributor to disaster house as mentioned above) so that we can quickly get a social media post done uninterrupted. *why is it ALWAYS the Tupperware cupboard, every.single.time??* But you know, we are okay with it because this also means something great. It means we can choose our own crazy schedule. We are so fortunate to have days when we get to take the day off from Dapper & Chic so that we can get outside and make some fun new memories as a family or to a field trip with one of our little ones or even things as basic as appointments. It allows us to create our own schedule which is kind of neat. One thing we have learned for sure is that this is not a 9-5 gig but we are thankful for that and have learned to be flexible.
We NEED some sort of Schedule. There is just not enough time in the day for it all. Although our time is flexible, keeping a schedule is super important to achieve the balance and to make sure we don’t miss any orders and that they are out in a timely fashion. But as Mom’s sometimes this schedule goes out the window (you know running on “Mom time”). *why does it take so long to get out of the house some days with kids? It’s not rocket science but dang it all it sure feels like it some days* The main time for us to get anything work related done is during nap time/bed time. Well I don’t know about your kids but ours don’t always cooperate. Sometimes nap time happens for 20 mins, or sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. Sometimes they have nightmares, aren’t feeling well or need just one more glass of water, one more story, one more kiss, one more hug....you get it, and then bed time does not happen until late. It is easy to use all of our kid free time to work on orders but that can turn bad fast, like when you stay up until 1am and the toddler is now awake at 5am...hello zombie mom. Not even all the coffee in the world can help you then, you are doomed and a tired Mama is not good for anyone. So we have learned to take that time for you and do not take on too much. Take that bath, drink that wine, binge watch your fav Netflix show...do it ladies!
SUPPORT is everything. And we are not just talking about our bras here ladies (however that is important for us too haha). We have such a killer support system who cheers us on like no others. This includes our hard working husbands who put up with our crazy schedules, listen to our ridiculous ideas and help pick up the slack on days we really need it. There is no way we could be living our dream without the help from them. Our parents who are always rooting us on, sharing the heck out of our social media pages (thanks Mom lol), or will watch the kids so that we can get some work done or attend a market. And of course all of our friends who have purchased items from us, provided us input and of course some sanity when we need it the most (oh heeey girls night). Air high fives to all of you.
Lastly, no more GUILT. We can’t feel guilty anymore Mamas! Seriously, it’s just not worth it. Easier said than done right? Sometimes I lie in bed at night and think to myself did I do enough today for everyone. I think this can be hard on any Mama at some point. Our “office” is in the basement and when we go to work we can still hear the kiddos yelling “Mama” from upstairs. The best solution for this is to know they are going to have a sweet time with Dad which is evident when you hear the roaring, stomping and giggles that come shortly after and that one on one time is important for them too. We then we crank the music and get busy. It is amazing what a good play list can do for work productivity (where my Salt ‘n Pepa fans...PUSH IT, PUSH IT REAL GOOD). *That is stuck in your head now isn’t it? You’re welcome!* Some days we leave piles of laundry behind because it was a beautiful day for the beach and that was more important than laundry (come on guys, anything is more important than laundry most days haha) No more guilt! That laundry will get done, maybe not today, heck maybe not even tomorrow but you go out and have fun with your kids, or do something for yourself... and if your husband asks why he has no clean underwear that day you can put the blame on us, we got this one.
The REWARDS for sure outweigh the challenges that come from staying at home with our kiddos. We know we are incredibly blessed and are grateful every day to have that time with our kids and family. This has been such a learning curve for us but that’s cool because I mean who doesn’t love a good challenge haha. We also love where Dapper & Chic is headed and you our followers are to thank for that. Thank you for continuing to support our little venture and supporting a small local shop you guys are da bomb (do people even say that anymore.. whatever, let’s bring it back like the fanny pack haha)
Ashley & Vanessa
P.s. We will have another video coming soon ;)